Badger Brunch: Your Hangover Remedy

Your brunch destination choice has never been this clear.

Madtown Lowdown | Calli Haramaras | March 3, 2016

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We know this is one city with everything necessary to provide a great weekend. Sometimes it’s an overlooked aspect of the lifestyle, but the hangover-brunch is covered very thoroughly–maybe too thoroughly– by Madison’s brunch scene. Here’s a breakdown of scenario-to-cure, for your use this weekend.

Consumed Three-Fourths of a Case Last Night

Restaurant: Gotham Bagels
What to order: Yellow C.A.B.

Although the entire menu of bagel sandwiches is full of bomb ass choices, the Yellow C.A.B. is sure to cure any hangover. Stacked on top of your choice of bagel or bread, this sandwich is made up of cheddar, avocado, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. If you’re like me, you’ll triple the bacon order. This sandwich is particularly awesome because the toppings are fairly plain and likely won’t make you throw up the way most foods do the morning of a violent hangover. Also, all the carbs in your bagel or bread will be sure to soak up all the leftover beer in your bloodstream from your night before, and leave you feeling ten times better (and more sober) than when you walked in. #Blessed.

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Cento’s Lemon Ricotta Pancakes

Your Parents Are In Town

Restaurant: Cento
What to order: Lemon Ricotta Pancakes

This fairly new restaurant on campus is a must when your parents are in town. While the whole menu is pretty killer, their brunch is especially curing. Whether your parents are visiting for family weekend in September or just because they’re now empty nesters and don’t know what the f*ck to do with themselves, you’re pretty much guaranteed a weekend full of quality meals on their dime. Although you woke up Sunday morning with close to zero recollection of the previous night’s events, you’re pretty certain that you were run over by a truck based on the way you’re feeling. Foreign bruises are everywhere. That being said, family brunch is a hard no. BUT, your parents are insisting. Don’t they realize that you just won four games of flip-cup and two games of pong less than twelve hours before? The champ is exhausted. So inconsiderate. Gather the strength to get out of bed, take off your clothes from the night before, and carry those little champion legs up to the capital to Cento and get the Lemon Ricotta Pancakes. The blueberry-lemon syrup sauce on top alone will put you in a better mood.

The Post Tailgate Hangover

Restaurant: Bassett Street Brunch Club
What to order: The Hangover (obviously)

Thankfully, Bassett Street knows what’s up, and has learned at this point that nearly half of all their customers on Saturday and Sunday mornings are either out-of-their-mind hung over or still drunk. This is where The Hangover omelet comes into play. As described on the menu: “a fluffy omelet filled with shaved ham, cheddar, and topped with Vermont white cheddar fondue. Served with breakfast potatoes or mixed greens.” Forget that mixed greens bullshit. They had me at fondue. Another huge plus to this restaurant: it’s open all day. So when you finally, finally find the will (and ability) to peel yourself from your bed and stand vertically for more than five minutes, Bassett Street is waiting for you. Seriously, it stays open until midnight on Saturdays, so if you’re feeling a quick snack of pancakes or a side (or three) of bacon upon waking up at 5 p.m. after tailgating all morning, and before heading to the bars again, Bassett is waiting for you.

The Freshman Dormitory Vomi-thon

Restaurant: The Nearest God Damn Dining Hall
What to order: Fresh fruit, oatmeal, or tater tots. Probably grab a Gatorade or some OJ, too.

These are the memories you’ll cherish. Who knew pre-gaming in Witte B could ruin a life? You started on 8B, probably got lost in College Court, stopped for Greenbush donuts (twice) and talked to your house fellow on the way back to your room. You were in the clear, dammit! Nope – you woke up to a trash bin next to your bed, and two friends knocking on your door to make sure you still have a pulse. Put on that baseball hat and grab your WisCard, this is going to be a long day. The food is cheap, and you know exactly what kind of no-frills experience you’ll be getting. Don’t worry, though – you wont live in the dorms forever.  One day, you’ll have a couch and a bed to pass out on.  Remember College Court from last night? No? Well, that’s your future. Savor your time with the resident discount at Gordon’s, because one day you’re going to be on that sad, sad college student budget.

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Lazy Jane’s Banana Waffle

On That Sad, Sad College Student Budget

Restaurant: Lazy Jane’s Café and Bakery
What to order: Waffle topped with bananas and whip cream, with a blueberry scone on the side (or chocolate croissant, or basically any one of their baked goods)

We all know the first, worst thing to wake up to on a Sunday morning. That hard 6 sleeping in your bed. I mean, that level 6 hangover. The second worst thing to wake up to? A near-empty, and heavily dented bank account. After not only buying countless drinks for that girl/guy at the bar, you insisted on buying four more rounds for you and your 10 closest friends. Luckily, Lazy Jane’s Café and Bakery is the cure to the worst of hangovers, and the most anxious of Sunday Scaries. With a large menu from omelets to waffles, the prices are cheap and reasonable for poor, sad college students like us. One of the best parts of this cute café is their baked goods – be sure to treat yo self to at least one of them. Guaranteed, you’ll walk out of this place feeling full and happy. And who knows, you might even forget about all the money you spent on alcohol last night at the bar. And that 6, too.