The Bathroom Stall Chronicles

To all the bathroom stall authors out there, keep being you

Madtown Lowdown | Grace Burrello | March 17, 2016

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After taking my first Econ 101 midterm of the semester, I was in desperate need of some uplifting advice to reassure my hesitations about the exam. And then BAM! I looked up, and my words of comfort were staring right at me begging to be read…in a f*cking bathroom.


Who knew the bathroom stall in the girls restroom of the Sewell Social Science building would be so inspirational. With the weekend quickly approaching, I was more than confident in my abilities to quickly mask my fears of what would be later posted on Learn@UW. After seeing this anonymous message, I started to notice all of the writing on the bathroom stalls around campus. I honestly couldn’t tell you why people decide “Hey yeah I’m taking this shit right now, but let me whip out this Sharpie and write a note!”

Maybe it’s to pass the time because you can only refresh Instagram so many times, or maybe they are actually coping with important life matters and they want to help other fellow bathroom buddies who are facing a similar hurdle. Either way, I appreciate the entertainment, support, and advice offered from this extremely bizarre circumstance.

The stall topics range from humor to music to politics and everything in between, so the next time you are feeling that tingle to tinkle, you might want to consider what mood you are in before simply seeking out the nearest bathroom.

If you are interested in reassessing what you actually ate last night, head over to the girl’s bathroom in the Plant Science building. Hopefully you have a better recollection of last night’s activities and can at least somewhat remember what you consumed…but if you’re surprised when you turn to flush, just remember that you’re not alone.


If you are feeling a little sexually frustrated, you can pop a squat (or stand if you prefer) in the Humanities building. Be a part of the bathroom kiss challenge on the sixth floor of Humanities and help our anonymous writer discover just how many people he or she can get to kiss the bathroom wall.


If that grosses you out and you also are striking out, you can always try out the new bathroom dating service in Sterling… sounds pretty legit, right? Bumble has some serious competition.


If you need that boost of confidence to maximize those sass levels, the Sewell Social Science building has some advice for you. Winged eyeliner is still in and so is the attitude.


If you want your voice to be heard, partake in the rappers poll in one of the men’s rooms in Van Hise. Kanye for the win, am I right? Oh wait, I confusing that with Kanye 2020.


If you are a little pissed off, you can vent about the things that you absolutely hate in the women’s room of the Humanities building. Be sure to match the “I hate..” theme.


And last but certainly not least, the Sewell Social Science building pulls through again for those of you who are feeling lonely. Pretty self-explanatory I would think. If not, ask Justin Bieber.


Bathrooms around the Madison campus can serve dual purposes for getting your business done and acting as the original form of YikYak, where your opinions or whatever the hell is on you mind can be anonymously seen. Your messages and responses will be seen one way or another because, well, we all have to go eventually. But next time you do, you don’t need to roll up with your squad to “go pee”, those walls are right there for you making sure you never feel alone. Hopefully you don’t have stage fright.